


Don't be Afraid of your Future.

by S2Rize



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Badass Shuuhei, Friendship, From the Arrancar Arc to the Quincy War, Humor, Kensei is a stubborn, Kensei traumed for the Paperwork, Lieutenant Muguruma Kensei, Light Angst, M/M, Shuuhei have Bankai!, Vizard Hisagi Shuuhei
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:19:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27845898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S2Rize/pseuds/S2Rize
Summary: For the first time in a long time ...I was afraid.This morning I rescued a young silver haired kid from a Hollow and now I am out of control, having attacked my friends. My body doesn't feel like mine, and I know whose fault it is. Tousen ...I will never forget your betrayal. I will never forgive you for taking my life away from me at Gotei 13"Lieutenant Muguruma, you should retreat" I told the young lieutenant who was covered in blood and with a wound on his stomach, he looked at me surprised, it seems that he did not expect me to come."But Captain Tousen-" I silenced him with a wave of my hand."The one who is there is no longer your captain, besides ..." I sharpened my gaze and made sure that my tone was as harsh as possible "He owes me, I don't promise not to kill him"
Relationships: Hisagi Shuuhei/Muguruma Kensei
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	Don't be Afraid of your Future.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [catching diamonds in the rain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20847392) by [blackkat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat). 



> Hi! This is a fanfic inspired by "Catching Diamonds in the Rain" with permission from the author, it is basically a story where the roles of Shuuhei and Kensei are reversed, Shuuhei was the captain of the 9th Division and Kensei the one who was saved by him.
> 
> Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo, not me. I only use the characters from the series.
> 
> This fanfic does not seek to offend anyone, it is of the Yaoi / Homosexual / Boys Love genre, with Kenshuu (Kensei x Shuuhei) as the main couple.
> 
> As my native language is Spanish, sorry if there are some things wrongly translated. I translated it the best way I could because I know most of the fandom speaks English.

I was in the Rukongai when I heard a scream that made me alert. I found the presence of a Hollow, along with a few more casualties that must belong to villagers in this district.

I am Hisagi Shuuhei, captain of the Ninth Division of Gotei 13, I am currently in the middle of an important mission to discover why Rukongai villagers disintegrate out of nowhere, it is curious that this is the 69th district, the place where I grew up and from from time to time I come to greet the people who still know me from here. On my cheek I have the number of this district tattooed to say with pride that I grew up in it.

"Grooah"

I heard again a few meters from me the scream of the Hollow, I quickly ran with Shunpo to go to help any citizen of the Rukongai, I was in the middle of an important mission but not for that reason I could abandon anyone to their fate. My justice did not allow me that.

"Waah" Shouted a couple of children as they escaped from a Hollow, one of them stayed behind, with silver hair, had a branch in his hand and tried to drive the Hollow away, it was funny to see but it was dangerous too.

"Stay away from my friends!" The silver-haired boy screamed, but the Hollow would ignore him and lunged at him.

Without hesitation I stepped in front of him, taking the blow with my Zanpakuto, then pushed the Hollow away from the boy. Take a good look at the shape of my attacker. A rather large, aqua green Hollow walking on all fours. It was no big deal.

"Hado 63 Raikōhō" I said calmly as I pointed the palm of my hand in his direction, a yellow lightning shot out and I finished the Hollow without problem. I don't even need to use my Shikai against this kind of Hollows, the Kido is more than enough.

I turn my gaze to the boy I just saved, seeing that he covers his face with both hands.

"Calm down Kid, you are no longer in danger, do not cry" I say gently to calm him down. Except the brat hits me in the face for no reason.

"I'm not crying! And don't call me Kid!" He scream although in his eyes tears are clearly seen in heaps.

"Why did you hit me? It's not something to be ashamed of ..." Again, I take another hit to the face.

"Shut up!" The Kid yells at me. I decide to ignore that to move on.

"Anyway, are you okay?" I ask genuinely concerned, more as I get closer the Kid takes a step back.

"No. It's. Your. Fucking. Problem." He says word for word as he looks at me with a frown and wiping the last tears he had.

"I just want to help you" I insist.

"Fuck you." I decide to look myself from afar and I only see some scratches, I have bandages on me that will be more than enough.

"Look kid, I'm just going to bandage those scrapes, and then if you want I'll buy you some sweets, okay?" I say trying to get closer slowly but the child keeps backing away.

"Don't call me kid!" He complains. I smiled a bit uncomfortable, he doesn't seem to measure a meter, it just comes naturally to me to call him a kid.

"Then tell me your name" I say without losing my calm.

"Kensei. Muguruma Kensei" He replied with a proud smile as he looked at me.

"Well then Muguruma, will you let me heal those wounds and in return I buy you some sweets?" I ask with a calm smile. The boy looks at me suspiciously but then nods.

Little by little he approaches me, to let the wounds heal, even with my smile I start to clean the wounds as I can with water from a nearby river, then I put a bandage on him and that's it, the kid is like new.

"Well, what sweet do you want Muguruma?" I ask him as I approach some food stalls in District 69, he looks at me expectantly.

"Can I order anything I want?" He answers with doubt in his eyes, I nod calmly.

With the tenderest and tenebrous smile that I have seen in my life he takes me by the hand and leads me to a nearby restaurant, where he points out a skewer of meat. I open my eyes genuinely surprised, I expected him to ask me for a sweet as we agreed but it seems he prefers meat, and I imagine he is asking for the most expensive because then he might not have a chance to taste it later.

"Well, I guess this is fine too" I reply smiling as I ask the cook for the skewer that the boy pointed out. Who is now looking at me surprised?

"Wait. Were you serious?" He asks me but I just ignore him as I take the ready skewer from the cook's hands.

I offer it to the child without losing my smile, when he takes it he gave him a little pat on the head.

"Shuuhei!" I listen to my back and see Kuna Mashiro, my lieutenant, running towards me, when I see that he carries black robes in his hands, I am alarmed.

I turn to say goodbye to the boy when I notice that he has his gaze fixed on the ground, almost depressed, I don't understand why.

"You are alive, smile!" I say goodbye as I place my hands on both sides of my face and form a smile on my face so that then I go away, I have already lost a lot of time here and I cannot put aside my mission. I could see out of the corner of my eye how the child stared at me as I left.

I used Shunpo to be right in front of Mashiro, who was apparently waiting for him since she wasn't surprised.

"Where have you been?" Curious question for my answer.

"Help a kid who was being attacked by a Hollow, then I bought him something to eat, now the important thing, tell me that those robes are not from our men" I reply somewhat concerned, and Mashiro's sad look confirms my doubts.

"We already set up the camp, Todō, Kaname, Heizō and Shinobu are standing guard there, only you are missing" He says calmly as he hands me the robes of our fallen men.

"Good! There is no time to waste!" I say ready to use Shunpo and go but I feel someone grab my arm, it's a rather small hand.

I turn only to find the kid, Kensei Muguruma, with his skewer in one hand and holding me with the other, is panting, as if he had recently run to catch up with me.

"Hey… Tell me… Your… Name…" He gasps. Did he really run just to ask me that?

"Hisagi Shuuhei, Captain of the Ninth Division of Gotei 13" I reply with a smile giving him another caress on the head "Take care kid, I must go to work"

"Wait-" Even though I listened to him, I had no time to waste. This mission could be a bit more complicated than expected.

Anyway, if I worry about the child, I can always come visit him. It's not like I'm going somewhere.

\----

Once I got to the camp, I began to analyze everything that could be crucial for this mission. Shinobu Eishima my 4th Officer is helping me with that, while my 3rd, 5th and 6th officers are standing guard.

"We must work faster if we want to avoid more losses" I say as I continue reading the different reports that were recovered along with the clothes of my men.

"Yes, we don't know what causes this but it seems that those who possess little Reiatsu are the target, or at least those who have been affected so far" Shinobu confirms.

"That is a very serious problem" I mentioned while continuing to read reports. One of the few things that relaxes me, as crazy as it sounds is the paperwork I have as captain, it helps to distract my mind.

"What do we do if it happens again, but in a place with more people?" Shinobu asks concerned.

"Maybe we should evacuate the district ..." I think as a possibility "Mashiro, what do you think ...?" I ask my lieutenant only to find her sleeping in an indecent position for a lady.

Sigh exhausted, if it weren't for her incredible combat skills she wouldn't have promoted her to Lieutenant. I take my Zanpakuto carefully and smack it right on the head with the hilt. She gets up scared by the impact.

"Who is attacking us ?!" He asks as he gets into position to fight. I laugh a little.

"The paperwork" I joke knowing how much he hates it.

"NOOO!" She screams dramatizing.

After that, the three of us start to laugh a little, some tears fall from the laughter.

"Yeah, seriously speaking, Mashiro I need you to be alert for any possible attack, you can't sleep like that just because you want to" I reproach him. Plus she just sticks her tongue out at me.

"We have our best officers working as guards. I'll sleep all I want!" She says like the wayward girl she is as she goes back to sleep. It doesn't take long for her to fall asleep soundly.

I snort annoyed. I will consider removing her from the position of lieutenant after this mission. Just to punish and annoy her, he doesn't even notice the seriousness of the situation. I keep thinking about how to scold Mashiro until I see a black butterfly appear. Shinobu without hesitation takes it to receive the message.

"What does it say?" He asked curious.

"It's from the Captain Commander, he says that if necessary he will send reinforcements as soon as we ask for them" Shinobu explains while arranging all the paperwork that we have cluttered on my temporary desk in the camp.

"It wouldn't be a bad idea, but only when we confirm that people with a good Reiatsu are not affected by this phenomenon" I reply as I prepare to help Shinobu.

However, we both stop abruptly when we hear a scream outside the camp.

"Wake up Mashiro!" I yell as I go to help my officers.

When I go out I find Todō and Heizō on the ground, and Tousen standing with his sword full of blood.

"What does this mean Tousen ?!" I ask annoyed as I sneak up on my officers to see if they can still survive.

They are dead. Dammit!

"You better explain this right now Tousen" I demand as I use Shunpo and place my Zanpakuto on Tousen's neck.

"Wow, as always your reaction is pretty quick Captain Hisagi" Says Tousen as he turns in my direction "I didn't have time to hide, and you acted fast even though was afraid. I admire that"

"What's going on here?!" Mashiro asks as he leaves the camp. Shinobu was completely shocked to see his companions on the ground.

"Tousen explain right now, or I swear I'll cut you, this is betrayal of the Gotei 13" I grunt annoyed.

"It won't be counted as treason, captain, after all ..." He pauses as he lifts his Zanpakuto, I clasp the edge of mine around his neck "No one will ever find out about this"

I try to cut Tousen's neck but he walks away avoiding me in a quick movement, Mashiro and Shinobu are on guard too.

But we had no way to prepare for what happened.

"Bankai. Suzumushi Tsuishiki: Enma Kōrogi" My alarms rang when I heard the word Bankai, and even more so when everything turned to pure black out of nowhere. He couldn't hear anything, couldn't see or even feel Mashiro, Shinobu, or Tousen's Reiatsu.

"Mashiro! Shinobu!" I call them concerned, but I do not receive any response.

I groan when I feel a slight, shallow cut on my arm, and for a moment I swear I saw a shadow move.

"What the fuck is this Tousen ?!" I asked loudly, hoping to hear an answer, but this time it doesn't come "Reap, Kazeshini!" I release my Shikai in preparation for any possible blow from her.

Not wanting to stay still as an easy target, I try to go to where Eishima and Mashiro were before I lost my sight.

But out of nowhere I feel like a sword pierces my chest, right in my heart. I turn my gaze only to find Tousen behind me.

"Do you like my Bankai? It removes the senses of everyone inside him, only the one who holds Suzumushi keeps them" He says calmly while pushing his sword into me a little more.

"Mashiro… Shinobu…" I say while spitting out some blood. They are both on the ground in front of me, with a large cut on their backs.

"Goodbye Captain Hisagi, I sincerely enjoyed working with you" He says goodbye to me, but I stop him by grabbing his sword.

"I'm glad ... to have released Kazeshini in time ..." I say as I take advantage of the short distance that Tousen is at to cut him with one of my scythes.

"… ?!" I notice the surprise on his face at the cut, and I watch him walk away from me.

When his sword comes out of my chest, the wound that had and had pierced my heart closes.

"So you should be able to hear me right?" I ask to the dark void while I harden my gaze and my Reiatsu explodes with anger "Well, I'm so sorry Tousen, if the only thing you have to kill me is your sword, you won't get it" I add while putting myself in a completely unprotected position.

It did not take long to feel how he pierced me with his sword again, this time he pierced my Saketsu, it seems that he believes that with that I will lose my spiritual powers. I just take Tousen's arm tightly.

"I told you that it useless, simply won't work" I repeat until I remember "Ah that's right, the only people who knew my Kazeshini's ability were Mashiro and Shinji" I joke as I cut him again with my scythe.

"Kazeshini's ability…?" He asks confused as he walks away, but since Suzumushi is still nailed to me, now he is the one who is affected by his own Bankai.

I notice how he deactivates it to regain his senses.

" It's simple, Kazeshini manipulates the cycle of life, whenever i dies or has injured, Kazeshini will recover those wounds for me just restarting it, I am literally immortal while i have Reiatsu" I clarify as I remove Suzumushi from my body.

"I didn't know you had such an ability" Tousen replied, regaining his calm. That bothered me a lot.

"It's not that I like to be a punching bag that is always hurt, so I have never been able to show it in public" I add as I prepare to throw one of my scythes at him, I must finish the quick one to help Mashiro and Shinobu, whose Reiatsus feel very low "Now you will pay for that, since you showed me yours, let me show you mine! Ban-!" I kept saying until out of nowhere I get dizzy and a strange white substance comes out of my mouth.

"I'm glad I infected him with the first hit" Tousen blurted out of nowhere.

I'm starting to feel like I'm losing my balance, damn it. Infected? What did he do to me? But the words do not come out of my mouth. I feel like a kind of white mask begins to appear on my face, very similar to that of a ...

Hollow ?!

I look up for answers but Tousen is still there in silence.

Shit, this bad. Very bad! I must do something!

I try to enter my internal world, surely Kazeshini can do something about it, but I feel as if there is an iron wall that prevents me from entering. What does this mean? I can usually enter without any problem.

Damn it, damn it, damn it!

Angrily I throw one of my scythes towards Tousen, I feel like it goes flying faster than usual, and Tousen barely manages to avoid it in time.

"Easy Captain Hisagi, you will not be alone in this new life that is being given to you" Says Tousen after a while in silence. I turn my gaze to Mashiro and see how the same thing is happening to her too, no, damn it, no! "Lieutenant Kuna will keep you company apparently, it's a shame that the 4th officer Eishima didn't make it" He comments very calmly.

"To ... Tousen ..." I manage to growl, catching his attention I stand up "I ... I ... I'll kill you!" I scream without knowing if I am the one who says it or my anger, which now seems to be the one who controls my body.

In an instant I appear in front of Tousen and with a blow I send him to fly a few meters from me, I prepare to give him another one although he releases his Bankai again. Fuck! Right now I have my Shikai I shouldn't really worry about this but it's impossible for me to hit him without risking hurting Mashiro, or Shinobu assuming he's still alive.

But unexpectedly Tousen deactivates his Bankai. I watch him suspiciously for a few seconds.

"Captain Hisagi" I hear from behind me.

I turn around as I can and see someone who is my light of hope, Fifth Division Lieutenant Sousuke Aizen. Perfect, if I can express myself correctly I can ask for help. He could bring Shinji, the captain of the Fifth Division and a close friend of mine. Yes, it seems that Mashiro and I can save ourselves.

"A-aizen…" I growl as I can. Instead he looks at me in amazement.

"Incredible. Do you maintain consciousness at this stage of the transformation? Seriously, you are an interesting specimen Captain Hisagi" He comments making me worry.

Even more so when Tousen kneels beside him, my previous suspicions are confirmed "Mission accomplished, Aizen-sama" Hearing that, what little sanity I retained crumbled. And with that I begin to lose consciousness of my actions.

I know I attack them, but I did not hurt him, they escaped before and for some reason my body does not obey me to chase them. My conscience… It's leaving.

No ... I must stay aware ...

I can't let them escape ...

I can't …

Shit…

\-----

Dark.

Very dark.

Everything is darkness around me, I do not differentiate what is next to me and I only see vague shadows of some objects, everything is black and very empty, I feel an unpleasant feeling of loneliness just to be here. Damn, I've been in this weird limbo for a while now and I'm getting so frustrated by it.

For a few hours at least, it seems that my body is moving as it wants and I am not even aware of what is going on around me, it is horrible. But at least I have not lost Mashiro, although I cannot get to communicate with her, I feel her presence very close to me, we have not separated since we have been wandering.

I've been trying to call Kazeshini all this time but I can't get to him though, I can feel like he's trying to get to me too, fuck, don't go through hellish training to understand my Zanpakuto just so now I can't talk to him . It is too frustrating.

I'm starting to get desperate here. And I've started to wonder where I failed so epically to end up like this.

This is what I get after years of excellent work as a captain? Become a monster that is sure to be killed? Will I be here forever? Will Aizen and Tousen get away with it in the end? I really want to scream, I can't stand this damn silence to all my questions. I'm desperate to talk to someone, whoever, please ...

"Shuuhei ?!" That voice is ...

"Shinji ?!" I screamed, but my voice was lost in the emptiness that surrounds me. I heard it. I swear on my life that I listen to Shinji, or does he open me up mad from loneliness?

"Shuhei can you hear me ?!" Is him! It's Shinji, I'm not crazy!

"What the hell is happening here?!" No, it's not just him, Love too.

"Do you think that thing is really Shuhei?" And Rose!

Lieutenant Yadomaru, Hiyori, the lieutenant of Kido division Ushoda-san too, I feel them, I feel like their Reiatsus are close to me, next to Mashiro who has remained close to me since I entered this empty world. They are close to me, talking to me, but I cannot answer them.

I must reach them, with all the willpower I have left, I must reach them!

I focus on his Reiatsus and how they are close to me, I begin to feel like I am regaining consciousness, but I cannot move my body, it is still moving independently. Also, I feel like some people are hitting me. I am being attacked!

More when I fully regain my sense of sight, I fully understand why I am being attacked. It's Shinji and the others! They are talking to me, so that I come to their senses ... And stop attacking them?

Shit. I have no control over my actions, and I am attacking my friends ...

When I see my own reflection in its puddle I am horrified, I have a mask very similar to that of a Hollow on my face, white and without a mouth, it looks like a ghost, and at the same time I have a kind of skeleton on my body, a box thoracic in my chest, my arms are surrounded by white chains that seem to be made of bones, at the end of those chains I recognize my Kazeshini, although quite damaged, as if he had been in combat for hours.

I let out a desperate roar when I finally saw my state.

No, Shinji and the others are here. They should try to help me, right? But they look very hurt… No, I have hurt them, shit, I feel terrible, but I can't even stop attacking them.

"Bakudo 99 Kin!" After hearing that, a black ribbon ties me and then reinforced with stone tablets and with that I can finally stop attacking my friends. Mashiro was also being held. It seems that I finally finish ...

Or that I would have liked to happen. Aizen introduced himself again, Shit, he just infected the others! Shit, I try to break the ribbons that bind me, I have to help them and it seems that my body is finally responding to me, but I can't.

No ... This cannot be our end ...

For the first time in a long time ...

I was afraid.

This morning I rescued a young silver haired kid from a Hollow like any other day, and now I am out of myself, immobilized after attacking my friends. My body doesn't feel like mine, and I know whose fault it is. Tousen ...

I will never forget your betrayal.

Aizen, he's also going to pay for this if I survive, I swear, this won't stay that way. I will not forgive what they did to me and my friends. I swear we will get revenge.

That was the last thing that crossed my mind until I was unconscious, but for a moment, I swear I felt a somewhat familiar Reiatsu.

\-----

"Shuuhei"

I heard how someone called me, but I felt like I didn't want to wake up, I didn't want to go back to that nightmare.

"Shuuhei!

I heard that annoying voice again, which is too familiar to me, and too irritating too. I am getting upset.

"Shuuhei !!" Enough.

"Damn Shinji let me sleep!" I screamed in anger as I landed a blow at Shinji.

In that instant I realized. I moved my hand, that means ...

I quickly began to check my entire body, nothing, there were no traces of the abomination that was before, it was as if nothing, well, my Haori was somewhat torn and dirty but that was the least of it, I'm fine! I'm like new!

But my joy was short-lived by the words that Shinji said.

"Don’t feel so happy, We are exiled"

"What?" I said completely horrified. Looking around, I see that I am in a somewhat small room, with paint a little worn and cold, quite cold. A perfectly depressing place.

"Aizen. He lied about everything and framed Kisuke about experimenting with us, and even posed as if we had accepted these experiments. That son of a bitch." Shinji growled completely serious. I wasn't kidding.

"They incriminated Urahara? How? What happened? Where are we?" Ask really concerned. This is bad, if they are looking for us as if we were criminals we will have many problems.

"Kisuke was the one who saved us. Since he was in the right place and at the right time he was able to incriminate him. Right now we are in the human world, he managed to bring us to a small town called Karakura, with the help of Yoruichi" Shinji seemed extremely concerned about this.

And it was logical. Now we are fugitives, they want to kill us, and we can do nothing to prove our innocence.

"What happened to… our “Hollowfication”?" I ask concerned about the answer.

"It seems like Kisuke stopped her, but there she is still, I can even feel like I have another soul inside me besides my Zanpakuto, but… It's the best we have for now" He said with a smile that was quite forced.

I clenched my fist tightly. Shit. This is terrible, if we don't do something to control we will be a danger to everyone around us. Shinji seeing my reaction simply nods and leaves, he knows I need a moment alone.

"You're alive, smile Shuuhei!" I listened in my head, and I was immediately shocked. I desperately searched for my Zanpakuto, which was not far away, and took it carefully. Without hesitation, as soon as I took the sword a small black tornado came out of it, Kazeshini's materialization is fickle, the form it takes when I call him depends on my emotions. I guess its most basic and simple form shows how unstable I feel right now emotionally.

"Kazeshini! What happened to you? You didn't answer me before" I questioned clearly annoyed. I hear a bitter laugh in response.

"Blame the damned Tousen and Aizen, what they did to you caused a disaster in your internal world, it wasn't until your crazy scientist friend helped us that I was finally able to talk to you" He replies with clear irritation in his voice.

"Are you OK now?" My question doesn't surprise him since all he does is laugh even louder, although now it doesn't sound as much of a fake laugh.

"Yes Partner, I managed to put things in order around here" He comments making me relax a bit "But I have new company in your world, so you better not go in for now, I must teach that new friend the rules there "He adds with a somewhat sadistic laugh.

"As nice as ever" I joke sarcastically, his laughter only increasing.

"Hey, I'm a reflection of you, so you couldn't hope for less right?" This time I am the one who laughs out loud. And I just nod to his words.

"Shuuhei?" I hear someone calling me and I turn around only to find Mashiro, who is shyly leaning out the door, her expression shows all the sadness she has at this moment.

"Let's talk later Kazeshini" With a simple noise of affirmation in response Kazeshini returns to my internal world in a calm way "Come on Mashiro" Just hearing those words she enters shyly.

"Shuuhei… what will we do now?" He asks with extreme sadness in his eyes and uncertainty in his words. I fully understand what you mean in that question.

Without responding to her, I carefully get up to approach her and hug her, feeling her clinging tightly to me instantly, sobbing at a low volume as I feel her tears wet my clothes.

"We will survive Mashiro, we will do so for now" I whisper as I pat her head lightly.

"But what about our division? What will happen to everything we've worked for?" Ask, and although I don't want to say it, I know what the answers are to those questions.

"The Ninth ..." I feel a lump form in my throat as I speak "The Ninth Division is no longer our Mashiro, for now, we will have to work to overcome this and survive" I grit my teeth after saying that, it hurt too much to say it.

"I don't want this. I want to go back to the Ninth Division, I want to be there in the Gotei" He complains while crying.

"Mashiro…" I whisper with a lump in my throat.

"I want to see the new recruits complain about training, I want Shinobu-chan to help me with my paperwork" She continues as her tears rise. I start to feel my eyes burn.

"Mashiro enough ..." I tell her as she falls to her knees, I bend down to be at her height and continue hugging her.

"I want to be home Shuuhei ..." He says looking into my eyes, his eyes are red, irritated by what he has cried "I don't want this, I don't want to suffer here" He whispers while clinging to me. I smile sadly.

"I know Mashiro" I reply as I feel my own tears come out.

This happened without us wanting it, now, in the eyes of our friends and comrades we are monsters, abominations, I feel as if I have been destroyed my whole life, and Mashiro feels the same, not only the two of us, all of us who have suffered for this and we cannot even fight for justice without fear of losing our own control.

It's so damn frustrating!

I know crying won't solve anything, but it's what I need now, what Mashiro also needs, we desperately need to let out all this helplessness and sadness that we feel, so just this once, I'll cry until I can't anymore, then I won't go back to never cry, because once I let go of all my sadness, only my anger and my desire for revenge will remain, for which I must have enough patience for now.

Unintentionally after a few minutes of crying, the memory of the child I saved this morning comes to mind.

"Hey you know?" I tearfully comment "The kid I saved this morning was something peculiar" I add seeing how Mashiro sees me confused.

"Why?" He asks while sobbing a bit.

"He hit me in the face after I saved him" I affirm with a somewhat bitter laugh. Mashiro stares at me for a moment and then slowly begins to laugh as well. Getting carried away by my desperate attempt to brighten the moment.

"And you still bought him food?" Incredulous question, we both know that we are holding on to a little moment of joy so as not to suffer more but, that's fine.

"I actually offered him a sweet, but the little brat preferred the expensive meat" i joked with a somewhat forced smile.

"You really are too kind Shuuhei" He comments with a sad smile "I'll go see how the others are" He adds as he gets up, when he is in the doorway he turns and looks at me "Thank you very much" He lets go without waiting for my answer.

I, in the now silent room, I lock myself in my thoughts, remembering everything I did while I was captain of the ninth division, the moments when I went to drink with my subordinates, and everything that now I no longer have.

"Actually ..." I whisper in my loneliness "If I knew that kid would be my last good deed as captain ... I would have heard the last thing he wanted to say to me" I finish as I stand up to leave this depressing room.

At least he had saved one last life before this catastrophe happened. Kensei Muguruma, wherever you are, I hope you survive.

Hopefully we will see you again in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, with this here I leave the first chapter, this is basically where the whole story of the Vizards begins, in the Turn Back the Pendulum arc, so it seemed appropriate to start it here. First of all I want to clarify, the ability that I showed here of Kazeshini IS CANON, that is the ability that Shuuhei obtained when he understood Kazeshini and was able to achieve his Bankai (These events occur in the novel Cant Fear Your Own World, which was supervised by Tite Kubo), and since Shuuhei starts off as captain here, canonically speaking, he should have accepted Kazeshini by now, so I decided to place that like this.
> 
> Shuuhei's Bankai will also appear, but that will be much later.
> 
> And finally, although I said that I was inspired by the One Shot "Catching Diamonds in the Rain", that does not mean that this is going to follow exactly what was in that story, since that story came out before they showed us things like Shuuhei's inner world or Kazeshini's abilities or Shuuhei's own Bankai, so this story retains the same concept as the original, but with a somewhat more canon approach, although I proudly say that I love the original one shot of beginning to end so I will try to keep the essence of it.


End file.
